A Vow

(Words that used to be...)


You're always lighting up my heart with the things you say.
I feel so happy just being with you this way.
You're my hero, and will forever be my knight.
And from this moment on you will always be my life.
So please never give up, always believe
that someday the gift of love you deserve will be achieved.

Every time I think of you my heart misses a beat.
You're my theme for a dream! You're my evening retreat.
Every moment we share together I grow closer to you.
The feeling is so spontaneous and always true.
I'm simply hanging by a moment,
like time is one valuable present,
waiting to see you again so you can hold me so tight
that all else fades and everything becomes alright.

I will never forget you. I hope you think of me too.
That in the scorching heat, you are the cold wind that blew.
I love you with all that I am, all that I was and all that I will ever be.
That in this life clouded with doubt, you make me see the way clearly.
Please know that my love and I are inseparable,
I thank fate in having you even if time with you is ample.
I would want it no other way
and if time could express my love for you then it's forever and a day.

I can't wait to be with you,
to see your smile, look in your eyes and feel your sweet touch too,
to hear your perfect words and kiss your perfect lips,
I just can't wait to be with you, my heart now skips.
I wish you understand how much I love you now,
then maybe, just maybe, you would tell me how,
how to let go when my time to love you must come to an end,
Do I need to go away and pretend that this never happened?
Or would you still let me love you even from afar,
so you can still feel like you are being watched like the sea to a star.

The clock may be ticking on me to love you
better, so I can show you love everyday anew.
I now look to the future and forget the past,
your life is mine for now and I will make it last.
I love you more today than I did yesterday,
and I'll love you more tomorrow than I do today.
This I vow to be forever true,
Always and always remember that I love you.

I Do.

“I want a church wedding.”

He blurted.

Those were the only words he said.
The only words I’ll ever need.
To make all fears disappear.
To make all the nightmares go away.
To lock blurry images of my future in a sturdy steel box
and seal my fate with his.

He never asked, “will you marry me?”.
None of those “will you be my wife?” questions.

He just said he wants a church wedding.
Like he has lost himself from some deep reverie.

But those words were enough to put tears and a smile into my face.

Like the whole universe suddenly became so small for me to be breathe in.
Like the stars that night would suddenly collapse and head straight to where I was.
I felt everything… Fear. Love.
Both security and uncertainty.
Happiness and sadness.
I told myself “I deserve this” but immediately asked, “Do I?”

But his arms, locking my whole body to press his, gave me the one thing I have to think of.
His lips touching mine answers all the doubts I have.
That he’s sure about what he said.
That he’s the “marrying type” (quoting him) and that all he knows now is that he loves me…
That we love each other.
And that’s all that matters.

I love him and that’s all that matters.

If not for him, I wouldn’t know what true love really meant.
I’d never feel this inner peace;
I couldn’t be content.

If not for him, I’d never have the pleasures of romance.
I’d miss the bliss, the craziness.
Of love’s sweet, silly dance.

I have to feel his tender touch;
I have to hear his voice;
No other one could take his place;
He’s it; I have no choice.

If not for him, I’d be adrift;
I don’t know what I’d do;
I’d be searching for my other half,
Incomplete, if not for him;

If not for you.

And I just want you to know…

I want a church wedding too!

Why Gibo Almost Had My Vote

I chose not to practice my right to suffrage.

I have been exposed to political issues even before I learned the multiplication table. I have experienced those brownouts during Cory's time, how the fluctuating price of "galunggong" (a local mackerel) had been an economic indicator (not the price of petrol), when Meralco electric bills went up because of the increase in the number of Independent Power Providers (IPPs) in the country to help solve our power outage problems. Growing up I enjoyed watching Erap's impeachment trial religiously, like it's a telenova that's just hard to miss. I got fired up by EDSA II and loathed EDSA III (???). I also joined high school and college debates on political issues concerning the youth not just for the extra grades but also for the beauty of defending your stand on these matters.

Despite all that, I chose not to vote.

Not because getting yourself registered is one hell of a task but practically because growing up I learned that elections only have you choose for the lesser evil when in an ideal society, my vote should go for the one who is not evil. I am not saying our society should first be ideal before they could get me to vote and I am not also proud to not practice my social rights to suffrage (I remember chatting with an old friend and we both reminisced and agreed that the last time we ever voted was for our high school student council election). Not voting now is something I am not proud of but it's a choice I made so I wouldn't have eventual disappointments years after. We have had 14 Presidents all in all, and I don't know of any one who have been voted and left the presidency without people who protested against him/her and pleaded for his/her resignation in more than one occasion. Not entirely because the head of state had really been at fault but whether we like it or not, whether we believe it or not, we Filipinos, even as we claim to be very independent and socially well-rounded, are very much afraid of change/s and not very trusting of our fellowmen.

There were the issues of VFA, Magna Carta, Charter Change and even this automated election we would be using on Monday and always, once announced/leaked, you would have people (same faces) marching off the streets with iconic images of whoever the president is and would ask for his/her resignation. I get that it's just a natural reaction to change. Because change is something that is unknown. And something that is unknown causes panic. I also get why we are not so trusting of our fellowmen. When you're in the Philippines, try sitting next to a snatcher inside a jeepney or ride a cab if you're going someplace you don't know and do that the next time and you would notice the big difference in the meter reading. But there is still the big room to question ourselves, if we don't trust our fellowmen, how can they or us (reversing the context towards ourselves) become trustworthy? That not all shabby men we sit next to inside a public vehicle or not all cab drivers have wrong, malicious and bad intentions.

Bottomline here is, we judge too early.

We judge now that this person would be a good enough head of state and later disappoint ourselves because he is gesturing changes in the ways we live. We keep asking for change to happen, for something to stop, but whenever somebody raises a finger to act on that plea, we end up judging the person again too early as someone who wants to disrupt the status quo. I'm telling you, if this election happened the same week when former President Cory died, I am 100% sure that Noynoy would have won the elections even before he has decided to run.

But looking at the roster of candidates we have now, I can only sigh in disappointment for not registering to vote this year. Disappointed that I judged them all too early. Because there was this one man who, all throughout the campaign period, has been a true gentleman.

To hell with credentials (even when I know he has one at par compared to the others) and with the issues he is being abashed with (even when I know that the issues they have of him is not his in the first place - was it his fault that he is a Cojuanco and that he served in the Dept. of Defense under GMA?). I have read his platform of governance and they were impressive for a candidate. I have seen the debates and he was the only one you wouldn't be ashamed of to put beside Obama or beside other heads of states because you know he would have a fruitful conversation with them. But there is one ultimate reason why I would want him to win.

If only I could vote I am voting for him simply because of all the presidential candidates we have, he is the only one who doesn't point his fingers even when sometimes there's a need to. He doesn't have a negative campaign. And that tells us what kind of a person, of a man, he is. That when put into a position of authority, I would like to judge him this soon as someone who wouldn't point his fingers in times of change, in times of conflict. That he will take responsibility for a decision made. Because that's the type of leader we need nowadays. Someone we cannot trust, perhaps - atleast not at this point, but atleast someone who would take credit for his actions and does what he says he will do.

This coming Monday I cannot vote. I will not vote. That is why Gilberto "Gibo" Teodoro almost had my vote.

The One That Got Away

(Reposted)

In your life, you’ll make note of a lot of people.

Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There’s the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you’re with…and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it’s that person with whom everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong.

There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn’t fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person.

I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it?

When you’re not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn’t matter who you’re with, it just doesn’t work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become deal breakers simply because you’re not ready and it shows. It’s not that you and the person you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you’re ready. You really are. And when this happens you’ll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it’ll work because you’re ready. It’ll work because it’s the right time and you’ll make it work.

And it’ll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you’re finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you’ve become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you’re single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with two kids, it doesn’t matter. All you know is that you’ve changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.

You’ll think about them because you’ll wonder, “What if they were here today?” You’ll wonder, “What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?” That’s what the one that got away is. The biggest “What if?” you’ll have in your life.

If you’re married, you’ll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us.

But hopefully you’re mature enough to realize that you’re already with the one you’re with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you’ll think about him/her every so often, but it’s alright. It’s never nice to live with a “might have been,” but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who’s already married. In which case it’s the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you’re old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it’s different. What do you do if it’s not yet too late? Simple…find him, find her.

Because the very existence of a “one that got away” means that you’ll always wonder, what if you got that one?

Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn’t matter if you’ve dropped in from out of nowhere. You’d be surprised, you just might be “the one that got away” as well for the person who is your “the one that got away.”

You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won’t make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it’ll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I’m thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, “Hey you, you’re the one that ALMOST got away.”

A New Sam Tsui Fan

I am sorry but I am not a Lady Gaga fan nor in any way do I like her music. Though of course you can't help but listen to them over the radio or in the mall due to her music's popularity. But when I saw this video of Sam Tsui singing a medley of Lady Gaga songs, I had to download all the original songs (Bad Romance, Just Dance, Paparazzi and Poker Face) and compare it with Sam's version. Watch the video:



I love his version! I am now a new fan! Youtube really is awesome. :-)